Is Self-Love Selfish? The Difference Between Self-Love And Selfishness

Self-love and egoism or selfishness are treated like synonyms in the mind of many people. Therefore when thinking of self-love, often certain phrases or beliefs come to mind:


“I don’t want to be perceived as selfish!
“I can’t only think of myself!”

Practicing self-care or self-love and doing something beneficial just for us is considered to be selfish. But what kind of image comes up in our head if we imagine an egoist or a selfish person?

This kind of behavior always depends on others. Egoists always have to take advantage of others or manipulate them. The selfish person always has to be in the spotlight and needs the attention of others. The world literally has to revolve around them. They have to be at the center of attention. Egoists always need other people to manifest their status.

In contrast, people who decide to be more kind to themselves, practice self-care, and learn real self-love, don’t need anyone else for this. We can practice all these things without other people being involved. Self-love is about listening to our inner needs, desires, and inclinations and fulfilling them.


Self-Care And Self-Love Are Not Selfishness


Imagine someone’s car broke down on the side of the road. Would you stop and empty your tank so that this person could continue driving?

Of course not, because as a result, you would have the problem of not being able to continue your journey. It is much better to help this person fill their tank themself.

You can only be there for other people when your own tank and energy reserves are full. Regular self-care and self-love are the fuel for your tank. A lack of self-care results in stress, burnout, dissatisfaction, and even illness. This means a lack of self-love and self-care makes it impossible to be there for others.


Self-Love vs Selfishness


“Love your neighbor as yourself.”


Especially in our modern society, buzzwords like solidarity and responsibility for others are omnipresent. Being conditioned like that, we are so focused on the outside and the people around us, that we completely lose sight of ourselves.

So we are not only allowed but we actually should do something for ourselves without cursing ourselves and feeling bad. Only then do we have the energy and power to give love and affection to others.


The journey to self-love is a life-changing process to let go of self-doubt, boost self-esteem, recognize our worth, and find genuine satisfaction. It frees us from seeking the approval of others and enables us to embrace who we are. Here are 18 impactful Self-Love Worksheets & Exercises to build and improve self-love: